one ; w i s h e s t h a t w o n ' t c o m e t r u e .

at the beginning of 2O1O , i thought that i would get a new beginning.

a chance to start everything new.

but now i know , despite it being a new year , it does not mean the past is forgotten.

it does not mean a relationship with a person could start new , as if they had never met before.

and that it does not mean history won`t repeat itself.

for there to even be a chance of history repeating itself ... i hate myself for it.

but i just can`t seem to get past the sudden realisation that it just might happen.

so i`m stupid. dumb. pathetic. idiotic.

my heart`s stopping. my hands are trembling. my eyes are tearing. and i`m lost.

utterly lost.

for those who have had their wishes come true , i envy you.

because i know mine will never come true.

i wish i had a time machine;

i`d go back to when we first met.

i wish i had a time machine;

i`d go back to when i first realised i fell for you.

i wish i had a time machine;

i`d get a second chance to do things over .

i wish i had a time machine;

i miss the past and the times we had together, the closeness we shared.

i wish i had a time machine;

i`d get the chance to tell you i loved you.

i wish i had a time machine ...

maybe you & i would have worked out.