twentythree ; m i d n i g h t t h o u g h t s

title is 'midnight thoughts', but i think by the time i finish my thoughts here, it will be past midnight haha.

it`s 2 minutes til 12, anyway.

hm. my trials are nearly over, yay !

only got legal on wed and pdhpe on thurs.

the 2 subjects with the most content ..

my, i AM crazy. =S.

add bio and ancient to that list, HAHAHA.

)=.

can`t wait til the last minute of pdhpe on thursday !!!!!

FREEDOM !

until school starts again, that is.

but i get friday off =].

oooh ~ i want to watch Inception ! heard it was a mind fuck HAHA.

might watch it with christine if she`s not busy =].

hmmm .. also planning to try and pull off something quite risky on friday ..

if i can get the proper 'tools' and connections, and deceive my parents, i can get away with it so well =D ..

^^.

but we shall see ~ ..

hm.

i miss youuuuuuu ~

lols

i saw two people together today. and i couldn`t help but be a tad jealous and envious.

i used to have that with you; and now, nothing.

but ahwells. such is life ^^.

twentytwo ; d a y T H R E E

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.

Day 3 — letter to your parents

so, perfect first date

uhmmm ... hm. i`m actually not sure.

you might say i`m conforming to the norm, if i say a day out consisting of movies, just being together, dinner maybe.

but, i actually don`t mind that Oo haha.

i mean, not saying it has to be a mushy movie [becaused i would refuse to even go to the cinemas to buy the ticket], and doesn`t have to be a romantic dinner [i`m fine with maccas .. or like. normal jap/korean/chinky/viet/whatever food]

guess the day would have to consist of things we both like

so not only one person 'designs' it, but hm. a compromise ?

i`m definitely not going for the whole extremely romantic first day.

pscht.

that`s for hopeless romantics .. JOKES. to any of you out there, reading this =]

but yeh, that`s just me ..

as long as we both enjoy the things we`re doing that day

as long as i`m with him and he`s with me

then alllll good =].

would it be too much to say i`d love a kiss ? or two ? HAHAHA.

hugs and kisses = KUGS ! =]. .

♥♥

---

letter to my parents.

hrm. i`m not sure how to write this. i seriously doubt i`ll be spouting all the 'i love you' and 'thank you for ____' crap.

because, i don`t even know how i feel about you ! [parents]

so, dearest parents,

while you have brought me up, been with me all my life, yadiyahyah.

you disappoint me. sometimes.

especially the way your marriage broke apart, and the way the post-divorce thingoes happened

the way it affected your children [me and sister] ..

so maybe i sound selfish saying all this because i`m sure it affects you both largely.

but come on, i`m sure even i could have handled a divorce better than you two !

dearest mother, you need to stop being a bitch and let father dearest see sister dearest !

[dearest is sarcasm, btw !]

eh.

i really don`t have much to say about you guys.

you want the best for me ? don`t tell me anything. that`s all i ask =]. ^^.

i guess, deeeeeep down, i do love you two.

but i`m not able to show it.

sorry ?

lol.

and if anyone who read that doesn`t like it, i`m sorry. but this is my life, my parents, and you can say wahtever you want about what i wrote .. but this is how i feel. feelings are personal. i`m quite sure you wouldn`t understand exactly how i feel.

thanks =].

twentyone ; d a y T W O

Day 2 - A photo of something you ate today
Day 2 - A letter to your crush

FOUR N TWENTY PIE !

so yummeh munahahaha ..

also had coke, but that`s not food, it`s a drink. LOL

=].

---

hrm. a letter to my crush ..

well, i`m not sure i have one atm, but my most recent one ?

i`m not going to mention names, because i don`t think it`s necessary. the person`s not meant to know i still feel these things =D. and he`s not going to read it anyway, so why bother, right ? =].

well, i`m not sure what to write. type. whatever.

... =/. here goes ;

i don`t regret meeting you despite everything bad we`ve been through, or i`ve been through.

i half regret and half not regret the times we`ve spent out together.

i regret my actions, i regret not knowing how i should have acted, i regret being so .. annoying.

i also regret never telling you earlier. haha, when i told you how i felt, and then found out about your feelings .. and how we felt it on the same night .... hm. well. i definitely realised i should have said something earlier ..

but thank you for the days we did spend together, and thank you for the memories [the good ones]

i`ve learnt a lot from this, and hopefully, i`ll be able to get the next guy i really really like ...

i think my biggest regret is never telling you i loved you, but hey, not like anything would have happened from it, so =].

you`re an awesome guy, and i really wish we could talk like we used to, when we first met ..

but now our convos are all silences and awkwardness. ffs, i have to start the convos ! sigh.

i really want to catch up with you, just me and you out somewhere together, AS FRIENDS.

friends, only.

nothing more. nothing less. but i don`t think that`s ever going to happen, because you don`t seem to want to ...

so ahwells.

i don`t want to push you anymore. which is why i haven`t been asking your over and over about my formal.

tbh i don`t care anymore, about that. either you come, or you don`t. i have back up anyway.

but that`s not the point.

point is, i DO want you to come, as FRIENDS, yet again, but if you don`t want to .. then that`s fine too.

i`ve often thought of the past and how things could be different, had i done different things.

but the past is the past .. and whether i like it or not, you`re a part of my past. as you seem to want to be.

and that`s fine, i guess ..

there`s so many things i want to ask you, but i think it`s a bit late for questions ... if i do, you probably won`t even say a 'hi' to me on msn or whatever.

i think that`s it, or else i`ll have an epic long post, just for you HAHA.

oh, but i`m happy to say i`m getting over it, finally.

almost 2 years, hahaha.

i still miss you so fucking much though.

ohillchays it`s the fucking past. like i give a shit anymore =]

twenty ; d a y O N E

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Day 1 — A letter to Your Best Friend

well, that`s me ! in all my glory ;D. LOL JOKES =].

and that`s also my school jersey, WOOT !

hm. so my day today [even tho it`s 141am sunday now, i`m referring to saturday ^^]

i spent today at strathfield library with a friend, shirley, and my cousin jeff

studying biology @_@.

jeff was such a big help though haha. shirley and i actually understood stuff =D.

we also had lunch with my mum and sister. sigh.

anyway, got home around 5ish. and proceeded to go on msn and procrastinate.

>_<"

and then slept. HAHAHA. for too long. and now i`m procrastinating again ..

sigh .. what a life. =/.

oh, and i`m also mega worried about the rest of my trials ..

---

YVONNE DIEP !

i`d just like to say, you`re a wonderful friend, and right now i consider you my closest !

i`m so glad we met [and yes, we`ve been through this convo before haha .. and i also won it ;D]

i feel that i can talk to you about anything and everything, and it`s pretty funny when you`re slow on the uptake =PP HEHE. but i love that about you too, dw.

oh, and your laugh. and your ability to sleep through anything. HEHEHE.

thank you so much for being there for me all the time and you know already that i will ALWAYS be there for you. through anything ~

i love you absolutely to bits !!!!!

MY LADY ESKIMO HAHAHAHAAHAH ♥♥♥♥♥♥

thank you for considering what you think is best for me .. and i`m talking about your disapproval of who i like. or liked. not sure now. but i know you mean well, and the same goes to you, from me.

i`m sure as hell going to miss you once i graduate )=. but dw, i`ll always visit ! .. when i can HAHA.

and once i get my Ps [which will be in 2374850276523097858290865 years time] i`ll drive you around =D.

and i`ll visit you at work after uni and stuff, if you`re still working there then, and if i can etcetcetc.

also, i can`t wait til your bday !

cos it`s also MUCK UP DAY BUAHAHAHA. >=]

BEWAREEEEE .......... ;]

I LOVE YOU, YVONNNEEEEE ~

♥♥♥♥♥

and i`m not sure where i`d be without you ... and i`m being serious about that =/.

*HUGHUGHUG* =D

[are you even going to see this ? HAHA !]

nineteen ; 3 0 d a y c h a l l e n g e s

so, i was on my friend`s blog [HI JAN, if you somehow read this HAHAHA]

and i saw the 30 day challenge she was starting.

looks pretty interesting .. the different requests for each day are the lols .. some of them XD

anyway, i thought i`d give it a try, and hope it doesn`t die.

here`s the list ;

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of youself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days

i`ve also just found another 30 day challenge, that`s even MORE interesting than this one HAHA

so i`m planning to do both at the same time.

a letter to ;

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

let`s hope i can keep both up =].

eighteen ; b i o l o g y & u a c !

*yawnnnnns* i am so damn tired !

stratty library today with shirley & my cousin, studying bio.

we worked quite alot, surprisingly.

went through 3 topics [3rd topic was shortened for trials], in about 4-5hours.

O_O"

and my cousin teaches better than ms conroy .. to me.

much more succinct.

thanks, jeff ! =].

uac website is finally working, for applications !

have to wait for dad to come home so i can take his credit card number, MUAHAHAHAHA.

lol jokes, it`s for the processing fee.

hmm .. =/

i should go through my 4th bio topic for trials tonight,

then revise tomorrow ..

with a bit for legal as well. >_<"

scared )=.

AHHHHHH need to finish off shelter notes too )=

and then send to friend.

hm. i should do that now. not that much tbh

they can decipher it themself ..

this is what happens when we set out our notes differently, LOL !!

lalala.

i`m so tired .. should i take a nap first ?

LOL. putting off my work, yet again )=

ahwells !

feeling pretty proud of myself today =D.

i should get a treat ;D.

can`t wait til post-trials ! celebration time ~ [for a short while, anyway]

seventeen ; s t u d y i n g

sighs. i`m at parra library atm ..

trying to study for my remaining trials

• biology - monday
• legal studies - wednesday
• pdhpe - thursday

and i`m dying.

i can`t concentrate.

>_<""

what am i doing at parra lib, instead of strat ?

well, i have to pick up something at 3ish, so i thought it was more convenient to go to this lib

bahaha. free internet !!!! ;D.

but yeh. sigh. biology is such a bitch =/.

idunno how to study for it ..

i`m just reading everything over and over and over and OVER again.

how is it going to stay in my head ? i have no idea >_<"""

and this is only bio ...

i have to do the same for legal and pdhpe >_<"

*diesss*

how do you people do it )=

all those out there, who are able to concentrate sooo welll ..

fmlfmlfml )=

envy those who are able to study, able to remember, and do well in their exams ..

=/.

i need help. maybe i should have asked my cousin to come along today to help me ..

>_<""" ...

*headdesk*

sixteen ; t h e u n t h i n k a b l e

this says it all, to be honest ...

♥♥♥.

fifteen; f a i l D= !

sigh. well. i failed at waking up early haha.

and failed at studying at all today ..

dammit >_<""".

luckily for me, i can 'lock' myself up at the library tomorrow and study ..

gl to maths and history ext people haha. =L.

OHHH ! i found a picture i thought was hilarious ...

seriously, whoever has that in their house or wherever ... just, GG.

LOL !!!

anyways .. i really should study .. sighsighsigh.

>_<".

fourteen ; t i m e m a c h i n e

ohwow .. haven`t been here in ages, haha.

sigh. time has passed so quickly.

it`s already august .. what the fuckkkk D= !

how close are we, year 12s everywhere, to hsc ?!?!

*dies*.

can`t wait til this is all over haha ..

stupid trials =S.

anyway, didn`t study today LOL oops O_O".

woke up late and .. cbf .. =/.

relaaaaaxeedddd ;D.

[not a very good thing during this time =$]

hmmm .. actually don`t know what to type =_=''.

blehs.

ohyes, it was a friend`s 18th bday party last night ..

farkkk his house is huge ahahaha.

and it was quite awkward, seeing as i only knew the people i came with ..

which wasn`t many, just 2.

o.o' =/.

... and i also accidentally took one of the bday boy`s wristbands HAHAHA.

it was green. that`s my excuse =S. LOL !!!!

i think i`ll go and watch some Psych before i sleep ..

and then wake up earlier tomorrow [hopefully], to study some more ><"